Friday, December 10, 2004


Fresh released on record Lando are in training to assault the senses. A stinging four piece from areas circling Colchester have their first release out right now on Gringo Records which is a split single with another Colchester band called Teebo. Lando are Joe Russo (remember Joey Lawrence?) and Jimmy on guitar and sharing vocal duties and Dom and Steve on drums and bass respectively. I got hold of Joe and Steve for an insight into the mental landscape of Lando.

What bands have you been in previously?
J: I’ve been in the Penfolds and affybud with Tom from Teebo.

I’ve heard Halstead is like Hollyoaks. Is it that way?
J: Yeah but Baz plays keyboards not bass.
S: Out of order!
J: I think I must be Jambo.

The Gringo release says one of you is a mutated fanzine writer. Which fanzine does he write for?
S: I haven’t actually see the Gringo release but I guess that must be me. I should be putting out my own zine, Melt Disney, some time soon.

Who are your influences?
J: Sonic Youth, the Raincoats, Velvet Underground, Butthole Surfers.
S: I’d say bis, not really musically but personally I admire their attitude and the way they go about doing stuff.

Whats your all time favourite song?
J: I would say In The Mouth A Desert by Pavement or anything off Starlite Walker by the Silver Jews.
S: I honestly don’t have an all time favourite song. Its like ask me every half hour and I’d probably say something different.
J: Shergar The Wonder Horse may seem irrelevent here.

Have you got a thing for horse?
S: That would be Joe.
J: Bastards, horses are cool, they should be respected like the ones in Gullivers Travels.

Are any members of Lando hung like horses?
S: That would be Joe again.
J: That would be Dom….but he can’t/won’t comment.

When was the last time you slept in a ditch?
J: Actually the last time was in Ipswich when so called friends stranded us. We, four of us, laid in this ditch getting heat by burning Amyl Nitrate.

Which TV gameshow would Lando best be a team on?
J: The new one with Dale Winton in. Not Supermarket Sweep but that would still be cool.
S: I got the numbers on Countdown the other day when neither of the contestants did, and Carol couldn’t do it straight away either.
J: So, I done that as well.
S: Yeah, but you’ve never got the Conundrum.

What would you do if you could be Madonna for a day?
J: Probably sit around watching footy and drinking beers.
S: Crucify Sean Penn.

What is Adjacent Tyrants about?
J: It’s about ancient Greek oppression and conforming the image of the superficial masses.

Who’s better Hanson or Ocean Colour Scene?
S: I can’t believe you’re actually asking us that! Isn’t it blatantly obvious?
J: They win HaNdSdOwN.

What is the worst thing about Gringo Records?
J: Communication and fidgetiness.

What’s wrong with Colchester?
S: I’m the only person involved with Lando who actually lives in Colchester. There’s a lot of narrow mindness.
J: No ones willing to look at themselves and see they’re wrong, there’s no hope, the towns fuct but they isn’t everywhere.

When did you start smoking?
J: I started on herbal cigarettes when I was 15.

How do Teletubbies go to the toilet?
J: They do it in their outfits?

How do Teletubbies have sex?
J: Hmm…
S: I don’t think they do, because they’re too “nice” for that sort of thing…They don’t have those sort of urges.
(well whats the big hug thing about then?)

Old people: Cool or Crap?
J: It depends if they’re dead or not. Only joking. They’re pretty cool especially the mental ones, we have a few in Halstead and they’re actually really nice…
S: …as long as you don’t make any sudden movements!

Have you got a favourite Spice Girl?
J: Here’s my order: 1) Ginger Spice, 2) Posh Spice, 3) Crazy Spice or is that Scary, 4) Baby Spice, 5) Manky Spice.
S: Mine is Ginger Strap…have you noticed he’s shagging Ferdy on This Life?

Who’s your favourite Simpsons character?
S: The Itchy & Scratchy bits are always the funniest.
J: Willy the Groundskeeper closely followed by Signore Beaverotti.

Whos your favourite Star Wars character?
S: Without a doubt, Grand Moff Tarkin, he has all the coolest lines.
J: My dad used to serve him….does that make him a Stormtrooper? (It was) in a restaurant in Kent.

Whats your favourite Chevy Chase film?
J: I don’t like him but his best one was one with Dudley Moore and Goldie Hawn, I’m more of a Kurt Russell fan. (that film was Foul Play, memorable for little Duds sexy bedroom and lack of Chevy Chase tomfoolery but notable for his fine head of hair)

Future or Fucked?
J: Bang, fuck, Marilyn Manson, rape etc.

Whats cooler: a cheeky monkey grin or a horses nostrils?
S: I’m going to go with the monkey, but I’ve got a feeling Joe won’t be with me on that one…
J: Nay!

Are the rumours that your rhythm section look like Evening Session duo Jo and Steve true?
S: I don’t look like Steve Lamacq alright! I know who started those rumour and I’m going to disc with him.

What’s your favourite Guns N’ Roses song?
J: That would be “Eat My Cuntpuke, Bitch”.

Have any of you got arse sideburns?
J: Have you? Maybe we could compare someday.

West Ham or Tottenham?
S: Luton Town FC.
J: Stenhousemuir.

What’s the name of the Religious Cult opposite your home?
J: It’s Halstead Baptist Church, my day plays squash with the vicar, I’ve got a photo of the vicar on the roof.

Why did you quit bonkers barmy top TV show Blossom?
J: Puberty mate. Cause a bit of argy bargy with all my hormones and stuff.
(sex with Six?)

When was the last time you cryed?
J: When my dog died.
S: I always cry at Brookside…when Mike Dixon got released from prison in Tenerife or wherever it was…and when Jackie Corkhill’s cat was shot…

Male Nurse have a 2 foot Patrick Swayze and Lando have a 2 foot……….
S: Whoopi Goldberg.
J: Jumping Jack Flash. Gas! Gas! Gas!

Anything else?
J: Apologies to Magoo (from a previous interview), nothing was meant. To everyone, be inventive, real, original, extreme, hardcore, in ya face, grunge rock (Bu$h) yum yum.
S: I think I’ve got an eye infection.
J: Fear the Lando.

I understand Lando are soon to get to work on their next single, which may or may not be on Gringo while preparing the debut of Club Lando.


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